A monster came to my workstation one rainy day and tried to surf porn while I was away collecting the laundry. You know its evil just by looking at its back, full of dark, forboding shadows...
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"What the...?" I thought to myself, and lunged for its evil neck.
"Who are you and what were you thinking, surfing porn on pcs that don't belong to you? Don't you know that you ought to do this stuff on your own pc and at home where nobody knows you're really such a perverted bear?"
The bear looked stunned and silly for a second.
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It blinked a few times, and as realisation dawned upon its punitive beady mind, fear crossed its face (and eyeballs) and it leapt across the monitor.
"No! You've got it wrong! Things aren't what they seem to be! I was just updating my friendster account!
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Actually, I was actually sent by God to inform you that you're finally going to meet the girl who's destined to be with you together forever! I wasn't supposed to tell, but on account that you're so good looking... come closer..." (mumble mumble)
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"HAH! TAKE THIS, SUCKER! (sucker punch) I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT! YOU'RE SO STUPID!!! NOW YOU DIEEEEEEE!!!!!!" exclaimed the bear.
"NOOOO, DON'T MESS UP MY HAIR!!!!" I replied.
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Our epic struggle lasted for about 5 seconds when suddenly it ended.
"I got you covered, handsome boy! KK Plaza pest control, at your service! 1st time is free of charge don't worry."
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"Well, time to go set fire to this pesty bear. Bear, wave and say goodbye to him like a cute teddy bear now."
"Ok, by... wait, did you say fire? NOOOOOO!!!"
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With that, Earth has once again become a safe place to live in, thanks to... wait a minute. Who was that guy, and why'd he steal my bear? MY BEARRRRRRRRRR!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Now I'm all by myself again. So sad. So lonely. ;(
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